1-Breath in. 2-Breath out. 3-"Let it go"

I've been sulking for the past few months cause I have been going through so many emotions.

I have just begun to move past my mourning period. It took me a while but I've got there. I was about to break and stop playing the game. I played by the rules in the book thinking those were the only rules that applied. Now I know that there were unwritten rules that were unknown to many of us but know that "the CAT is out of the bag" I now know how to play its game. Let's see what happens to that CAT when it has to face off with a TIGER.

so. . . 1-Breath in.

2-Breath out.

3-"let go".

4-know ALL the rules of the game.

I back and better than before. You can try and keep this TIGER down but know this you will never break its spirit.

It's been a while

continued

It's no surprise that I felt betrayed by what happened. I keep remembering that day over and over again thinking if I should have done something different. I keep looking back to analyze the signs and I keep getting the same results. That I was played, manipulated but most importantly that there was nothing that I could do. They made their decision already about how will and who won't pass.

For a while I thought that I was just being bitter about the whole thing. It's funny when I tell myself I'm wrong GOD steps in by sending someone to make sure that I keep believing in myself and to let me know that I wasn't wrong or bitter. GOD acted through one of my friends when she called to tell me what she had over heard while she was handing a project in. She over heard the people in charge saying that they had picked the people they wanted before hand. That there were people that were left out that were more talented. That the ones they let in weren't "improving" like they thought they would ,that they gave these people the place of the more talented students that they left out.

Knowing this I feel angry and relieved at the same time. Anger because they deliberately hung me out to dry but relieved to know that I do have talent and that they dug themselves a deep hole and that there prejudices got the best of them. I hope that when the term ends the school will take the right action with these people cause they lied, broke so many school laws and regulations that it's isn't in the school's or the students' best interest to let them get away with what they did.

October 26th at safeway

On a trip to safeway last night accompanied by a group of friends. We went the to get some food for dinner at my place. So far all is alright we were chatting having a good time. We were standing around while we were talking to guys stop and were looking at us with a strange look in their eyes. One of them was continuously stroking his dog (he was carrying a small dog) opened his mouth and said "SafeWay closes in ten minutes. This is not wall mart". He was pointing out that me and my friends -all of us belonging to different minorities- should not be in there. Then this person implied a sexual innuendo YUCK. This was so extreme that one of my friends fell on her back laughing because of this persons audacity. This prompted the manager to ask us if every thing's OK. We told her to keep her eye on that guy with the dog but she kept "checking up on us"(making sure we don't steal anything) she even had us followed by a "secret shopper". I have never been so offended in my life. first of all, I have been a loyal customer for three years. I have had to return products to them because they were rotten or opened and one of there previous cashiers had the galls to ask if my name was FAKE and now this. Just because a person is "of color" doesn't mean they are trouble makers plus this safeway is pretty close to a university campus you'd think they've seen enough people of color to know that but no we get treated badly while -and I have seen this- the caucasian customers open packages, drink from pop bottles and hide them else where in the store. They think that there is no racism well guess what it's still there you just need to learn how to spot it.

Silence or Noise

Many of us see what is happening in front of us but many of us stay silent and we don't speak out we are afraid o making noise. Even if what happened had happened to us we are afraid to raise our voices but maybe we don't need to be loud maybe there's a way to speak without shouting maybe we need to learn how to talk. Problem is though when we talk no one listens and we remain static for a while because we know that we were heard but no one listened we wait and wait for a response but still nothing is done. We need to learn how to listen cause if we just hear we don't really comprehend what we heard in fortunately many of us listen only when others shout and make lots of noise. Why is it that when we try to be humble quite and polite that we are seen as weak, unsure of ourselves, stupid or even naive. when in truth that is not even close to incredible people we are. Could it be that the way pop-culture celebrates the outrageous, stupid,loud and obnoxious has diluted our sense of refrain to refrain ourselves from overdoing things like overeating, over consuming alcohol and not believing that being rude to people around us as well as loud and self obsessed is the way we should be. the truth is societies before us that have done that have seized to exist they have fell into a spiral that of self damaging behavior that they weren't able to pull themselves out of. Truth is we need to look at ourselves in the mirror every one of us and try to shed the layers of superficiality that we have accumulated and learned. We need to look out for each other every one of us we are the species that has not only dominated this planet but we have shaped it as well but we did that by working together because in the end we are stronger when we stand together and when that happens we won't need to shout and make lots of noise for others to listen we would stand together benefiting each other and we will be moving forward.

it's been a while

I have a vision. Am I a revolutionary. I don't think I am. I understand
two different cultures. Which i have experienced first hand. I even
understand the visual style of both.

Here is where my vision comes in.
I want to bring these visual systems together. The world is a smaller
place these days and both cultures can benefit from this new style the problem
is my professors don't understand or aren't trying to understand. I am being taught to emulate what has been done. I don't want to copy another person's style. I also understand that there will be situations where that is the right thing to do. However that hinders my creativity and sells me short.

What I do might not be there cup of tea I admit. Was I a fool to think that their job was to help me understand the system while being true to my style or While I develop one. Do I have to conform to their ways to pass.

Sadly when I am creative and original it's not what they want. Though they can't take there eyes off of it and are impressed they still shoot me down. It is sad that the students who are creative and original are looked at as if they where insane.

My first Design job

largeV2-2-01, originally uploaded by Ayman jbr.

This is my first design job that I'm doing out side of class. It's for Portland state's Saudi Students group it started as a contest which I won and now I'm going back and forth with that student club's leaders to finish the design.

some great websitse to find great works of art

I keep walking by a store called artful goods which sells wacky, cool, cute, clever and sometimes strangely designed
things like collectable figurines birthday cards, posters and uniquely designed every day objects like salt and pepper shakers as well as wallets oil and vinegar bottles.

here's their web site

www.artfulgoods.com

any way I couldn't help but by few posters which were screen printed and I was really breath taken by the three that i bought.
So i looked up one of the artist who designed one of the three and found his website and if i may say this artist has nice pieces that i think every one should see.
so, in order to do that I'm posting a link to this artist's website. This way you can see the work for yourselves.

www.danstiles.com

i also found the websites of the other two artist which art pretty cool two

Josh Kenyon
Colby Nichols

I'm thinking of buying this book

I've been waiting for it to be shipped to stores for a while.

however it seems it's still not out but i can still pre-order it.

www.amazon.com/Obsessive-Consumption-What-Did-Today/dp/1568988907/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268905124&sr=1-1-spell

Art 210 tutorial

DSCN5026

DSCN5026, originally uploaded by Ayman jbr.

pen set test 3rd attempt
type of ink :1- red and orange higgin's drawing ink
2-turquoise acrylic ink
tip Have some water around to dilute the acrylic ink

homemade calligraphy pens

homemade calligraphy pens, originally uploaded by Ayman jbr.

Home made Calligraphy Pen Set made out of sticksand chopsticks

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.